A short collection

[Talesman]

"Son, we are sorry about the tuition funds...your mother and I did not know you are not supposed to split tens..."

"Nobody is always a winner, and anybody who says he is, is either a liar or doesn't play poker."

"I believe in luck. How else can you explain the success of those you dislike?"

"Las Vegas is not renowned as a literary town. In fact, the word "book" around here, 90% of the time is a verb."

"I am now eased in my finances and replenished in my wardrobe." Andrew Jackson after winning a horse race.

A problem gambler was urged by a counselor to take the 20-question test for compulsive gambling. Upon completing it, the subject commented; "Boy, Gamblers Anonymous must be hard up for new members. They make qualifying so easy."

"North Vegas is where you go if you're a hooker turning forty and the syndicate men on the strip decide you're no longer much good for business out there with the high rollers."
Thompson

"It is the mark of an inexperienced man not to believe in luck." Joseph Conrad

If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he lucky?

Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a lifetime, but in a good many cases the man is in a neighboring saloon and does not hear her.

I hope to break even this week. I need the money.

"It can be argued that man's instinct to gamble is the only reason he is still not a monkey up in the trees." MARIO Puzo, Inside Las Vegas

Judged by the dollars spent, gambling is now more popular in America than baseball, the movies, and Disneyland

"I don't think I will ever bet on anything Jockey Scroon rides even if they pay off in advance."

"The one sure thing about luck is that it will change." Bret Harte

He once had a horse who finished ahead of the winner of the 1942 Kentucky Derby. Unfortunately, the horse started running in the 1941 Kentucky Derby. Groucho Marx

It's a strange thing, I haven't won yet, but I feel and think like a rich man and can't imagine being anything else.

"The guy supervising the games asks me if I'd like anything. Yea, I say, a gun to kill the dealer." Barry Meadows, "Blackjack Autumn"

"The sad truth is that many players view the casino as an adult theme park, with their gambling stake being the price they pay to be taken for a ride." Marvin Karlins Ph.D.

"Slot machines are the cotton candy and the McDonald's of the casino. Everyone knows that they're bad for you, but few can resist their junk-food appeal." Andrew Brisman.

" Nothing is as obnoxious as other people's luck." F. Scott Fitzgerald

"In order to learn any game, you have to find the best players and play with them." Poker legend, Johnny Moss

"In order to show a profit you have to leave the table."
Darwin Ortez, Casino Gambling for the Clueless (1986)

Next to knowing when a hot streak starts is knowing when to walk away when it stops.

It may be that the race is not always to the swiftest, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet. (Damon Runyon)

[VLSroulette]

Thanks a bunch Talesman.

This one:

"I believe in luck. How else can you explain the success of those you dislike?"

Reminds me of my great-grandmother. She said:

- God is punishing you (to a person she didn't like), but then she also said (about her relatives): God is TESTING my sister's will so much...

[MattyMattz]

"Las Vegas is not renowned as a literary town. In fact, the word "book" around here, 90% of the time is a verb."

Classic! Thanks TM,

Matt

[MattyMattz]

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